We have always complained about the attitude of our younger generation, that they don’t concentrate on education or they are not competitively competent. We need to ask ourselves questions. Why is there a behavioral shift? Almost every parent I have come across echoed that his/her ward was good in academics and has the brain to perform but now he/she doesn’t. The answer to “Why?” is within, earlier we were involved as parents and now we let the environment around us decide. The atmosphere decides what is good or bad for our kids. This is maybe due to lack of time or resources or both. If we all as parents convey our concerns on a regular basis and join them to solve the numerous problems around them, positive changes can come even on a molecular level.
Parenting is the toughest job in this world, but that doesn’t mean we stand down from our responsibilities. The society is the result of our actions; we cannot ignore our own rigidness to adapt. We cannot change the attitude of the whole world, just start with changing our own.
Some of the simple steps we could use to encourage our kids to become more sensitive towards studies can be:-
- Parents Time – The most precious thing a kid needs. The most precious thing “your kid” needs….
In the race to earn monetary satisfaction, we always neglect this aspect. It’s not just about mothers, in today’s (nuclear) family environment; fathers have to contribute within their limitation of time.
- Parent’s Habits – Our actions, our reactions and our habits, set a benchmark for our children. If we follow some habits as symbols of our personality and strength, they would directly or indirectly help our kids to grow into better students and a good human being.
- Reading newspapers, story books, novels or even short articles.
- Showing special interest in subjects we are familiar and strong in.
- Balancing pampering and discipline. One way handling is never affective. The right balance is mandatory.
- Studies have shown simple steps like showing physical care makes him/her more involved with the parent. Such as patting on the back, hugging during moments of laughter, achievement and pain.
- Negative Rewarding – We are all against corruption but we start the roots of corruption inside our own 4 walls. For simple things like finishing their meals we reward them with chocolates, TV time, video games, etc. These steps are few of the worst ways of bringing up your child. This habit will gradually build up and become a huge problem.
Rewarding is encouraging till it’s selective; otherwise it becomes a harmful habit.
- Reward them on educational habits and achievements but never promise a reward beforehand let it come to the child as an element of surprise.
[It’s the most dangerous motivational tool when the child starts viewing you as a materialistic thing.]
- Selective Rewarding conveys a message to your child and bring you and him/her closer.
- Control Over Money – An easy access to money will make the child feel like a King.
Inculcate financial wisdom, such as:-
From a very early stage, you need to teach them finance through small situations.
- Tell him/her to write grocery slips and total them.
- Never say “it’s too cheap” for any item.
- His/her genuine demands should be fulfilled but with a hint of financial difficulty.
- Some demands have to be rejected which you feel are not necessary for his/her age as of now.
- Just because others have it, we can’t make it a benchmark for ourselves and neither for the kid and it should be communicated to the child.
- Giving him/her money in small denominations to be saved by the child for his/her own demands.
- Give Them Their Space – A study has shown that if a kid is left alone for 1 to 2 hours on a regular basis, his/her analytical ability increases. It’s not required that he/she should be busy all the time. Giving TV breaks doesn’t amount to giving space. It’s his entertainment space. She/he should be alone for sometime (without their laptops and phones etc) so that they can start thinking freely.
- Rigid Study Hours – Study hours are like planetary position of the sun, which remain fixed and other planets revolve around it.
E.g. – Recreational activities, meals and playing hours.
Whereas as, it’s the other way round in today’s environment. Studies are becoming last hour priorities; we have to be strict and may even apply permissions on other activities as punishment to make them follow it.